Spotted: How to Succeed in Bassness

GOSSIP GIRLBest of episode of season 3 so far! Our first ever Halloween on Gossip Girl, zero Vanessa moments (no offense, V, but your omnipresence was upsetting the delicate GG character balance), new fights between characters, more Dorota gloriousness, the return of plotline with Jenny AND Eric van der Woodsen.

The outfits at the Prohibition themed club opening (Gimlet? Really?) were beyond spectacular. Even though I’d seen the on-set photos and the CW promo pics already, Leighton, Blake and Hilary Duff looked absolutely stunning. And Eric? Comedy genius.

I’m just going to assume that Chuck never told Blair about the time that Jack Bass tried to rape Lily at the opera house. (Because calling Jack Bass for a favor if you know that? Beyond uncool.) And I *wish* they had cast a more broodingly handsome actor for the Patrick Roberts (Pats-R?) movie star character. Particularly if he’ll be making repeat appearances as S’s faux boyfriend, whilst Carter is absent (due to oil riggery).

GOSSIP GIRLMy favorite moments: some hilarious, some heartbreakers

  • Dan and Nate watching the Endless Knights movies together. These little moments when Nate is hilarious? I live for them. Remember when he said “asshat” in the school play last year? Sigh.
  • “Shoulder pads can be overwhelming on my delicate frame.” — Blair, reconsidering an ’80s themed club opening
  • Poor Mark Hamill. “Is that the guy from Star Wars who isn’t Harrison Ford?”
  • Eric: “Rufus asked for my size this morning. Does that mean I’m getting a flannel?”
  • Not you did not, Queen J. Dumping yogurt on Eric’s head AND egging Jonathan? Getting rid of your sewing machine and J. Humphrey Designs originals?? It is like she tore her soul out and set it on fire in an alleyway garbage can.
  • Chuck not calling his situation with Blair a fight but an “ongoing detached distrust.”
  • Rufus in the Ramones costume. That wig. Good lordy.
  • Nate to Serena: “At least I’m on the list and not working the door.” Zing!
  • Why was Jenny wearing the oversized white tee with her “uniform”? What was with Lily’s comment about her old clothes not fitting her anymore? Is Jenny being a total confused bitchface because she ain’t eating?
  • Two words: Dorota. Chess.

Despite Jenny’s totally evil behavior this episode, Blair was the one who was driving me mentalicimus. I need her to forget NYU, stop manipulating Chuck (in a lame way), and start ruling some domain worth her attention. (Say politics?) The battle with Serena that’s brewing (and previewed for next week) is vair promising.

What did y’all think? Trick or treat?

7 thoughts on “Spotted: How to Succeed in Bassness

  1. Treat! But a few lingering Qs:
    does this mean Carter is hard at work on an oil rig and will be checking TMZ (as one does) and will see S with faux-Pattison and will decide never to return? Cause nooooooo! Do not like that possibility. Torment me with your lips longer belt-less Baizen.
    Secondly, I thought Lily meant to imply she was gaining a pound or two (beyond no longer hailing from Brooklyn.)
    Glad to see Rufus and Lily get over that Scott thing so quickly. Me too, I’m over it.

  2. Blerg! Carter will be so lonely on his oil rig of sadness, thinking Serena has moved on with a way-less-hot man.

    Scott who?? (If we pretend he doesn’t exist, the writers won’t have to bring him back.)

  3. I forgot about Jack/Lily at the Opera. Extra not cool on calling him.

    Love all the Dorota this week. The foot massage scene was a thing of beauty.

    A big “awww, baby’s first sex scene” to Hilary Duff’s sheets around the shoulders love making with Dan. But, most of all I just miss Nelly Yuki.

  4. I miss Nelly Yuki too! And the Mean Girls who had names. Are the writers just waiting to see if they’re going to bother keeping up this Jenny plot before naming her minions?

  5. SERENA’S BOOBS! I think I need therapy. Also, Jenny looks like a cheap hooker. Seriously, someone had to say it.

  6. yes! i miss me some Nelly Yuki too. Where is she this season?? I’ve been waiting for her to appear and stalk Dan for some Danuki action, but to no avail .

    amen to the Olivia and Dan love scene!

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